is always a highlight of the year. We are delighted this year to welcome Sarah Blaffer Hrdy as our guest scientist. This tribute from anthropologist, Melvin Konner, captures the significance of Dr. Hrdy’s contributions to the study of mating and parenting behavior in both the animal and the human world:

Sarah Blaffer Hrdy is one of the most original and influential minds in evolutionary anthropology. She first became known for her field study of Hanuman langurs, the sacred monkeys that range widely in the Indian peninsula. They are large and sometimes dangerous, and Hrdy was among that second generation of bold primatologists, just behind Jane Goodall and Diane Fossey, who did original work with primates. (Konner, 2011)

A main focus for Dr Hrdy’s research and writing is male-female relationships and reproduction across species. With this, she creates a foundation for understanding our human reproductive system. A striking difference between humans and our mammal and primate cousins is the frailty of the human infant and the resulting need for care beyond what mothers alone can provide, even with a helpful mate. In her book, Mother Nature: A History of Mothers, Infants, and Natural Selection, Hrdy asks: “Just who besides mothers subsidized the long, slow development that is the hallmark of the human species, the very late maturation that distinguishes us from every other primate?” (Hrdy 1999, 265). Calling them “alloparents,” she identifies close kin who provide care in the process called “cooperative breeding.” Based on study of hunter-gatherer societies, she points first to “a very special type of alloparent—postmenopausal females” (Hrdy 1999, 267).

Grandmothers are still often the first line of help but many members of the family are well-qualified candidates.

In her next book, Mothers and Others: The Evolutionary Origins of Mutual Understanding (2009), Hrdy expands on the intricacies of cooperative breeding and proposes that this is the source of the human capacity for understanding others. With the concept of “cooperative breeding,” she addresses an important evolutionary step that has made us, in Melvin Konner’s words, “the most cooperative primate species by far.” (Konner 2016, 185). It is easy to see why Dr. Hrdy’s work has been of great interest to students and scholars of Bowen theory. This way of thinking about the family resonates with Murray Bowen’s view of the family as a multigenerational emotional system.

Intrigued by recent discoveries that show that men respond to intimate involvement with babies the same way as mothers do, as measured by hormone levels and brain scans, Dr. Hrdy embarked on a study of fatherhood that matches the scientific rigor of her work on motherhood.

In her new book, Father Time: A Natural History of Men and Babies (2024), Hrdy takes the reader through the biological and cultural evolution of male care and notes that its expression in humans is far greater than that seen in most other species. With personal examples from her own family, she illustrates the caregiving of fathers, emphasizing that it is close engagement that elicits their attunement to the needs of the infant. She calls this essential closeness “time in intimate proximity” or TIP. Of equal importance would be the bond between father and mother and mother’s support of father’s involvement.

A fascinating chapter is devoted to detailed histories of several societies, describing the range of attitudes and cultures that have shaped gender roles. Hrdy identifies the conditions in societies that have been conducive to paternal care or more often, have assumed that mothers are designed to be the primary caregivers with fathers in a more distant position. Looking at our present society Hrdy writes: “All we can know for now is that there is an unexpected convergence of social, economic, technological, and cultural factors setting the twenty-first century stage so that some men spend more time with babies and actually care for them. …The staying power of such trends is far from guaranteed.” There is rich guidance here for those who are invested in creating a social environment that fosters the development of the caregiving potential of fathers.

-Stephanie Ferrera

References

Hrdy, S. B. 1999. Mother Nature: A History of Mothers, Infants, and Natural Selection. New York: Pantheon link

Hrdy, S. B. 2009. Mothers and Others: The Evolutionary Origins of Mutual Understanding link

Hrdy, S. B. 2024. Father Time: A Natural History of Men and Babies. Princeton: Princeton University Press link

Konner, M. 2011. “It Does Take a Village.” New York Review of Books link

Konner, M. 2015. Women After All. New York, W. W. Norton link

Registration is Open for the 43rd Annual Midwest Symposium

Established in 1984 with Dr. Murray Bowen as the sole presenter, the symposium has evolved to feature Dan Papero, PhD, as the primary speaker and, since 1990, a guest scientist each year. The event ensures Bowen family systems theory remains grounded in the natural sciences by inviting experts from fields such as neuroscience, evolutionary biology, and primatology. Single or two day tickets available:

Register Now Via Eventbrite

For a complete program description including full schedule see: CFC program page

CFC Program Spotlight:

Post Graduate Training Program in Bowen Theory

Understand the eight concepts of Bowen Theory, apply theory in practice through case studies and consultation, stay current with natural systems research, and explore one’s family of origin with expert guidance.

A continuous, immersive program from September 2026 to June 2027.
Monthly sessions (first Fridays, 9:00 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. Central Time) via Zoom.
Includes lectures, videos, discussions, case studies, and family of origin consultations.

Tuition: $2400 (2026-2027), Application fee: $50 (non-refundable).
72 CEUs upon completion of a full year.
Certificate of completion after two years of full attendance and completed assignments.

Applications accepted now through August 1, 2026.
Space is Limited - Contact John Bell for more information

What are CFC Faculty Reading and Viewing?

Cecilia Guzman, LCPC recommends The Tyranny of Merit by Michael Sandel published in 2020

In an era of rising inequality and social fragmentation, Michael Sandel’s work serves as a philosophical post-mortem of the “American Dream.” He examines how the promise of upward mobility has transformed into a tool of social division, questioning whether a system based on “merit” can ever truly be just.

Sandel offers a provocative critique of the modern “meritocratic ideal.” He argues that the belief that success is solely a result of individual effort and talent—and that everyone has an equal chance to rise—has created a deeply polarized society.

Sandel contends that this system fosters hubris among winners, who believe they earned their status alone, and humiliation among those left behind. By shifting the focus from the “common good” to individual credentialism, meritocracy erodes social solidarity and devalues the dignity of work for those without college degrees. Ultimately, Sandel calls for a reassessment of how we define success to heal our fractured democracy. Not necessarily an easy book to read but worth the time! more >

John Bell, MDiv recommends Elevator Systems podcast

I’ve been listening to the Elevator Podcast series hosted by the Living Systems counseling center in Vancouver, BC. You can explore their full library of resources on their website.

Their most recent episode features an insightful discussion about Artificial Intelligence with Dr. Patrick Stinson. It is a very relevant conversation for therapists currently exploring how AI might be useful within their clinical practice. Dr. Stinson is a pioneer in this space, having developed the first AI-based tool designed to provide feedback on family diagrams.

The episode is also highly practical for clinicians whose clients are now bringing their own AI-generated conversations into therapy sessions. Midway through the podcast, the dialogue shifts to explore the value of thinking alongside others and the various trade-offs of thinking within large groups. It really highlights the challenge of how to best integrate AI while preserving the vital “thinking” that happens within our human relationships. more >

Terri Pilarski, MDiv, LCSW recommends the television series Shrinking, streaming on Apple TV.

Apple TV’s hit series Shrinking tells the story of a psychotherapy practice and the efforts of this team of therapists, their family members, and their clients as they navigate life’s challenges of grief and loss.

Starring Harrison Ford, Jason Segel, Jessica Williams, Christa Miller, and other delightful actors, the series is lighthearted yet captures the characters’ efforts to navigate illness, death, job loss, addiction, and other challenges with depth and insight. Originally designed for three seasons, the series has been renewed for a fourth season, described as taking a leap into the future as the characters grow through the challenges they face.

From a Bowen Family Systems Theory perspective, Shrinking vividly portrays emotional process—the ways individuals both shape and are shaped by their relationships—highlighting the tension between reactivity and thoughtful connection as each character struggles to hold steady in the face of loss. more >

Sydney Reed, MSW recommends the memoir, Raising Hare written by Chloe Dalton

A New York Times Bestseller and finalist for the 2025 Women’s Prize, Raising Hare is a remarkable story of political consultant Chloe Dalton’s rescuing of a newborn hare (aka, jack rabbit) in the English countryside where she lives part time. Determined to not make the hare a pet but to merely help it survive, she allows the hare to take the space and food it needs. A wonderful example of the ability to let another creature determine its own fate in spite of the attachment you may feel and the urge to over protect. more >

Save the Date for CFC’s Summer Conference

The Center for Family Consultation’s 2026 Summer Conference is scheduled for Friday, July 10, 2026. This year’s event will be held virtually (online only), featuring Dr. Kathleen Smith as the guest presenter.

For more information, contact Stephanie Ferrera, MSW.

Leslie: Sydney, you led the development and launch of the first clinical day program for CFC in the late 1990’s. Since the late 1970’s you and the other CFC founders had been teaching in CFC’s Post-graduate Training Program in Bowen Family Systems Theory. What inspired you after 20 years to undertake the development of an annual program that focused on clinical applications?

Sydney: Peter Titelman was currently writing, Clinical Applications of Bowen Family Systems Theory. As the editor, he invited about a dozen long-time Bowen therapists to contribute chapters based on their own experience with the theory. I was one of those contributors. Peter’s writing in the opening chapters of his book inspired me to develop a “clinical day” program.

Leslie: Dr. Bowen continued evolving his theory and his way of teaching from the 1950s until he died in 1990. What was it about working on the book project with Peter that made you think that an annual day of workshops would be an important addition to CFC’s other programs?

Sydney: I selected a very challenging case I had been working on, which got me thinking more deeply about the therapeutic relationship and how I manage myself with my clients. I gained new insights into difficulties our trainees and others who are learning theory may encounter.

Leslie: I saw in the book’s introduction (pg.1) that Bowen’s writings and those of his colleagues at the Georgetown Family Center “…focused initially on the theory’s application in clinical practice. Later, Bowen concentrated on the importance of the therapist’s effort to differentiate a self in their own family of origin.”

Sydney: That’s correct. He saw a connection between using his theory with clients and the therapist working on oneself in their own family. Students of Bowen theory learn how to observe and reflect on their own behavior in their families of origin, and in their current nuclear families. As they gain insights, and begin to work on differentiation of self in their own families, they have new ways of thinking about their own behavior, and may start to intentionally work on some personal changes.

Leslie: We have also observed that we take those automatic patterns of functioning into our non-family adult relationships.

Sydney: I saw only the parents who needed to decide if they would allow their child to be one of the first children to have a heart transplant. They said they depended on me to get them through this crisis. I agreed to write the chapter because I thought it would help me stay objective. Clients need a neutral, non-reactive presence during the therapy session; one that asks questions that will guide them to seek facts. The mother became very interested in differentiation and began to address issues in her family of origin. She began to broaden her perspective, asking extended family members how they had handled life’s big challenges.

Leslie: You recognized that your role in coaching this family was going to be especially challenging to you. Given the seriousness of the facts around the couple’s presenting issue, you knew you needed to keep focused on your own functioning, as well as the case.

Sydney: Yes. After reflecting more about my experience with this case, I thought CFC could provide a learning opportunity where Bowen theory practitioners present their experience with a variety of case studies and topics that are focused on the clinical aspect of using Bowen systems thinking in families, in the workplace, at school, and in the wider community. It would be an opportunity for all of us to continue our efforts to reflect on new ways to refine our practice of Bowen theory.

Leslie: Thank you, Sydney for turning that insight into what has been one of our most popular of CFC’s annual programs for almost 30 years now.

Reference: Peter Titelman, PhD, editor, Clinical Applications of Bowen Family Systems Theory. The Haworth Press. © 1998 Haworth Press, Inc. New York and London

CFC Faculty Presents

Lisa Moss, MSW presented at a clinical professional development training at CJE SeniorLife.

“No One Ages Alone: Understanding the Multigenerational Family Emotional Process”

In this lecture, Lisa offered a practical framework for thinking about the clinical applications of Bowen Theory in work with aging clients and families. She identified common emotional process patterns across generations, explored caregiving relationships, and spoke about ways to reduce reactivity and promote family functioning in a changing system.
About CJE SeniorLife >

John Bell, MDiv presented at Living Systems Jan 6, Tuesday evening presentation.

“The Power of the Pivot: Moving from Reactivity to Responsibility.”
About Living Systems >

He will also be presenting at the monthly Bowen Center Faith Leadership Seminar on January 26, 2026
About This Program >

What are CFC Faculty Reading and Viewing this Season?

Kelly Matthews, LCSW is reading The Dutch House by Ann Patchett.

This is a story about 3 generations of a family in NYC and the NY area. It describes difficult marriages, parent/child relationships, sibling bonds, cut off and fortunes won and lost. Triangles abound and unfold in intriguing ways. Written beautifully with nuance and deft.
More >

Cecilia Guzman, LCPC recommends Pluribus, a post-apocalyptic Television show created by Vince Gilligan currently streaming on Apple TV+.

The series follows Carol (Rhea Seehorn), an American author who is one of only a handful of people worldwide immune to an alien virus. This virus has transformed the rest of humanity into a “Joining,” a peaceful and contented hive mind known as the “Others.” The show explores profound questions about individuality, free will, and the true cost of universal happiness and peace, presenting a bizarre world where utopia feels like a nightmare for the protagonist.

The title is a reference to the Latin motto E pluribus unum (”Out of many, one”), which perfectly encapsulates the show’s central theme of a collective consciousness replacing individual identity. This theme/plot closely, if not exactly, describes the forces of togetherness vs. individuality, albeit in an extreme form, which makes it easier for students of BFST to recognize.
More >

Lisa Friedstein, MSW recommends Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl.

Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning recounts his experiences in Nazi concentration camps and the insights that led to the development of logotherapy. Through witnessing extreme suffering, Frankl concluded that humans can endure almost any circumstance if they can find meaning in it. Logotherapy emphasizes personal responsibility, freedom of attitude, and the capacity to transcend suffering by choosing one’s response. In this expanded edition, Frankl also introduces “tragic optimism,” the idea that individuals can affirm life despite pain, guilt, and uncertainty.

I found this book deeply inspiring and it led me to reflect on Murray Bowen's concept of differentiation of self. I wondered whether the capacity to survive tragedy as Frankly did requires a high level of differentiation.
More >

Upcoming CFC Programs and Conferences

Beginning January 8, 2026
2026 Family of Origin Seminar (Registration is closed)
Learn More >

Beginning February 19, 2026
Winter 2026 Bowen Family Systems Theory 101 Seminar
Learn More and Register >

February 20, 2026
28th Annual Clinical Application of Bowen Theory Conference
Learn More and Register >

May 1-2, 2026
Midwest Symposium on Family Systems Theory and Therapy
Learn More >

This issue also marks the first time the CFC newsletter will be posted on both the CFC website and our newly launched Substack blog.

We are pleased to introduce you to Terri Pilarski, MDiv, MSW, CFC faculty member, and a long-time practitioner of Bowen theory in a variety of settings.

Rev. Pilarski will be the keynote speaker at the upcoming Clinical Application of Bowen Family Systems Theory: Annual Day of workshops, on February 20, 2026.

Rev. Pilarski highlights how having applied the practice of Dr. Murray Bowen’s theory for over 35 years has made a profound difference in her work with families, as a clinical social worker, as a clergyperson, and in her personal life. In reflecting on Dr. Bowen’s important decisions to ground this family systems theory in the natural sciences and human evolution, she also relates how recent discoveries in the hard sciences and the ancient spiritual wisdom traditions provide an underlying foundation of observed universal behaviors that broaden and enrich one’s perspectives on life. I asked Terri to give our readers a “little taste” of what she is preparing for our keynote presentation in February. Her response is as follows:

Keynote Title (working):

“Triangles, Trees, and Networks: Exploring Bowen Theory in Conversation with Science and Spiritual Wisdom”

“Family Systems Theory contains no ideas that have not been part of the human experience through the centuries.” — Bowen, FTCP, p. xiii

When I first began serving in congregational leadership, I often felt caught in the middle of competing needs and emotions. It wasn’t until I learned to notice the triangles I was in and those around me—and to both define and nurture how I wanted to be in each relationship—that I discovered a steadier, calmer way to lead. The practice of actively noticing triangles changed not only my ministry, but also the way I understood myself in all of my relationships.

Triangles—Bowen’s three-person relationship unit—are everywhere. They form naturally to balance tension in families, congregations, even in nature. Triangles are neutral; it’s how we manage ourselves in the emotional processes of triangles that determines whether they become anxious or stabilizing.

In this keynote, we’ll explore triangles as part of the natural order of life itself.

• Forest ecologist Suzanne Simard’s “Mother Tree” research shows how trees and underground mycelial networks communicate and share resources, forming supportive webs that echo triadic connections.

• Psychologist Jim Coan’s Social Baseline Theory—and his holding-hands research—illustrates that humans are wired to co-regulate with others.

• Buddhist psychology, often taught by Sharon Salzberg on the Metta Hour podcast, reminds us that the self is interdependent, not isolated.

• Christian mystery of the Trinity—three persons united in one divine life. Placed alongside Buddhist insights on interdependence, the mycelial networks of Suzanne Simard’s “Mother Trees,” and Jim Coan’s social-baseline research, the Trinity offers a vision of triangles as patterns of connection that are life-giving and non-anxious when shaped by compassion and self-awareness.

• Quantum physics suggests triadic patterns underpin the fabric of the universe.

Together, these perspectives reveal that triangles—whether in families, forests, congregations, or the cosmos—are a fundamental pattern of interconnectedness. This presentation will reflect on some of the scientific studies and contemplative practices that deepened my self-awareness and observation of self in relationship thus enhancing my practice of Bowen theory in my life and ministry.

learn more about CFC’s Clinical Application of Bowen Theory Conference >

CFC Faculty Presents

Robert J. Noone, PhD will have an article in the Fall 2025 issue of The Family Systems Journal titled “Systems Biology and the Family Emotional System”. Learn More >

Additionally, Bob will present at The 62nd Annual Symposium on Family Theory and Family Psychotherapy, sponsored by the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family in Washington, DC, November 7-8, 2025. The presentation is entitled “Family and the Shaping of Adaptive Capacity”. Learn More >

John Bell, MDiv recorded a podcast for the “Elevator Systems Podcast” (produced by Living Systems Counseling) on being an empty nester through the lens of Bowen theory. Learn More >

He will also be recording a podcast with Guillermo Cancio-Bello called “The Relationships We Live In” which will also air sometime in October. Learn More >

John recently presented at the ELCA System’s Academy in September on “The Effort it takes to Learn and Apply Bowen Theory.” Learn More >

What are CFC Faculty Reading and Viewing this Season?

Sydney Reed, MSW is leading a CFC book club reading Sarah Hrdy’s book: Father Time: A Natural History of Men and Babies

Sarah Hrdy will be the guest scientist headlining our Spring 2026 Midwest Symposium (May 1-2). CFC faculty member, Sydney Reed, is organizing a reading group focused on her recent book More >

From the publisher:

It has long seemed self-evident that women care for babies and men do other things. Hasn’t it always been so? When evolutionary science came along, it rubber-stamped this venerable division of labor: mammalian males evolved to compete for status and mates, while females were purpose-built to gestate, suckle, and otherwise nurture the victors’ offspring. But come the twenty-first century, increasing numbers of men are tending babies, sometimes right from birth. How can this be happening?

Cecilia Guzman, MS recommends Living on Earth: Forests, Corals, Consciousness, and the Making of the World

Peter Godfrey-Smith’s book reimagines evolution as a story of organisms shaping their world, not just adapting to it. From coral reefs to bowerbirds, he shows how life continually transforms the planet, ultimately turning to the Anthropocene and humanity’s responsibility for climate change and habitat loss. The book ends with a powerful call to protect wild nature. I found the book to be very, very similar To Bowen Family Systems Theory especially the societal regression and Bowen’s ideas of humans being part of the natural world. More >

Terri Pilarski MDiv, MSW recommends the Gamache series of mystery novels from Louise Penny.

Over the past year, I’ve been deeply engaged with Louise Penny’s Inspector Gamache mystery series, recently relistening to the entire collection in anticipation of the next book.

While compelling as detective stories, the novels also explore themes of community, grief, courage, and integrity, often echoing insights that resonate with Bowen Theory. Armand Gamache, in particular, exemplifies the concept of differentiation of self, leading with calm presence, reflection, and principled action even in times of anxiety. Penny’s characters, though not written with Bowen Theory in mind, vividly embody its dynamics, offering both entertainment and a living illustration of systems thinking. More >

Upcoming CFC Programs and Conferences

October 20, 2025

CFC Book Club: Father Time

Learn More >

January 8, 2026

2026 Family of Origin Seminar

Learn More >

February 20, 2026

2026 Clinical Application of Bowen Theory Conference

Learn More >